As we enter this warrior full moon in Aries this Thursday, I felt called towards cocooning and gentleness but in true Aries fashion for myself and not for others. For cultivating compassion and forgiveness for the all the ways I have treated myself poorly.
Many women in my community are embracing their inner warrior by implementing firm boundaries and through the practice of saying no. This has really showed up strongly for me. I have been distilling each opportunity through noticing if I am saying yes out of obligation or resentment. If I am I, have decided I must say no. Each time I say no I am crippled with guilt, with being perceived as a disappointment. But within that there is a brief point of relief, it's as if my soul is saying thank you for choosing me.
I know better. Not saying no in the past has nearly cost me my life. Trying to be all the things to all the people is ridiculous. What if we could start showing up for ourselves? Think about all the ways we show up for others, what if we simply shifted a fraction of that to US? Patriachy sure has us conditioned, doesn't it? It is deeply uncomfortable and simultaneously freeing.
I chose to use the Soulcards deck by Deborah Koff-Chapin. This is a deck I have coveted and wouldn't you know a dear friend of mine gifted it to me when she surprised me at the Etsy Made in Canada Market. She lives in Calgary, so we only see each other a couple times a year. Her presence and gift made my day.
This deck has such powerful imagery. It doesn't come with a guidebook so the interpretation is based solely on what it stirs up for the user. This particular card spoke to me. The row of pyramids with the eyes along the bottom made me think of all my inner critics. I can feel the scrutiny. The face of the person appears tired and weary. We are all feeling a bit exhausted. When we continually shame and beat ourselves up, we expend an enormous amount of energy. What if those triangles were hearts instead. What if the eyes were pouring out love rather than poking and prodding at our perceived imperfections? What is one simple way we can be kind to ourselves right now, in this moment?
Of course, I chose all the heart stones and added in an antler for some deer medicine. The crystals are pink lemurian quartz, pink aura quartz, and rose quartz. I chose the pink lemurian to remind us that our uniqueness is our gift, the aura quartz for joy and creativity, and rose quartz for compassion, acceptance, and love. The deer symbolism is one of intuition, sensitivity, and gentleness.
Here's the mantra for this full moon:
Exercising my ability to say no,
Creates space for my soul to exhale.
Channeling my inner fire into
Fierce boundaries, teaches others
Where my sacred space ends and theirs begins.
This space between is hallowed ground,
Only those willing to honor it may remain.