It has been months since I last blogged. I have been writing extensively to my email list through my biweekly Lunar Love newsletters and that was feeling really good. I hadn't felt the pull to blog, until now.
Lately, I have found myself reflecting upon what sisterhood and community truly means to me. This was sparked by some personal challenges and by witnessing my dear mentor have her identity stolen by her virtual assistant, who then went onto destroy a huge portion of her website and funnel funds into a bogus account.
Are our own wounds so deep that we can't find a way out? Do we even recognize what's our shit and what is someone else's? The high school dramatics of competition, cliques, exclusion, and backstabbing run rampant amongst women of all ages. It's so unfortunate that it doesn't end when we graduate.
I am an outsider, remaining on the fringes, as betrayal and bullying from women have been a regular theme in my life. I have often been on the receiving end of other's projections and blame. I am not sure, perhaps I am the safe person who won't retaliate or hate them for projecting and showing me their wounds, or perhaps I somehow gave them false expectations. I have worked hard to cultivate a space where everyone can show up as their true authentic selves and be loved no matter what. I am now carving out space for me to show up for myself and be loved and accepted as I am. We are all human and it's a given, we make mistakes. This women hating women must STOP! I no longer have space for those who are looking for someone to blame in order to feel better about themselves.
I have found myself relating deeply to the archetype of Artemis over the past year or so, Rhiannon would be the Celtic version of this goddess. She is the feminine archetype that governs our throat chakra, our ability to stand in our own integrity, unwavering, and speak our truth. She was the one who was betrayed and ostracized by those closest to her. She is able to heal and become stronger, returning to regain what is rightfully hers. I am here today to speak my truth. My truth is my own, it is formed by the fabric of my lived experiences. The rise of the Divine Feminine has arrived. We are closing out a cycle that has lasted the past four years of our lives. We now stand at a fork in the road. What path are you choosing? The same backstabbing dramatics that have women hating their fellow sister? Or the gateway to the new unknown that holds countless possibilities for a new paradigm?
I know which direction I am headed and it is not the ways of the past. We all have this innate need and desire to belong, to find our peeps and our tribe. For me, sisterhood and community looks like raw, real, genuine vulnerability, authenticity, and accountability. A space where we own our own shit and face our shadows knowing that every suppressed aspect of our psyche lives on in each and every one of us. To me, this alone makes the burden seem less daunting. Sharing our struggles, our feelings, and our inadequacies make them so much less large than we had originally thought. It allows us to remove another heavy layer and feel the lightness that's begging to get out. It gives us the room to celebrate our wins without feeling a sense of competitiveness, scarcity, lack, jealousy, or envy. We need to get comfortable talking about our dreams and desires rather than gossiping about people in order to make ourselves feel better. Our desires, our dreams, our wants and needs are all desperately important. Nobody's are better than anyone else's, they are unique to each of us and that alone makes them incomparable!
In all my challenges with women, I have been blessed with a rock solid foundation of a few kindred souls who have my back no matter what. Some of these women have been with me since childhood, others have grown loyally alongside me as I have blossomed in my public work, and other's have quietly been there without realizing the impact of their quiet strength and ability to listen. It is because of my own challenges with women that I feel SO passionate about healing our mother wounds and leading the rise of the Divine Feminine.
As a deeply introverted person, friendship has always been a struggle for me. I can go months and months without speaking to someone. I find that the friendships and sisterhood that have stood the test of time were one's where I have been permitted to be me, in all my messy glory. There are so many women who are constantly in my thoughts and prayers but I simply cannot be present and make arrangements to meet with each of them, that's simply not who I am. I think It's also important to recognize that friendships come and go throughout our lives and that it is totally normal to have people float in and out, as needed. I have been working on releasing my own feelings of guilt and of not being "enough" of a friend. I have also noticed that when I decided to make the decision to remove gossip from my conversations, that it took much more effort to get dialogue flowing. When we decide to break away from the mold or the societal beliefs we are groomed into thinking we need to embody, it isn't always easy or comfortable. And I am not here to deny anyone a much needed vent session! It's the cycle of repeatedly rehashing things that I am trying to move past.
Every woman has an immense sovereign power lying deep within our wombs, the space of nothingness where all of creation is seeded. As we close out this epic year of 2016, how are you choosing to utilize your innate power? Will you choose the path of the past or take a leap of faith? Will you channel your creative power into shaping a new world or will you remain in safeness of your current reality? The choice is undoubtedly yours to make and I love you no matter what you choose, just know that I can't take you with me if you decide to remain.
All My Love,
I dedicate this to Michaen, Hussie, Jaclyn, Brooke, Joy, Nicole, Kelsey and all my other soul sisters!