One of the ways I feel we can heal ourselves and a small piece of the world, is by making space for our darker aspects. When I speak of the dark feminine, I am talking about the parts of ourselves that we deem unacceptable and perhaps even unlovable.
The dark feminine is our rage, our anger, our desires, our wanting, our emotions, our blood, our bones, our bodies, our sexuality and sensuality. All the times we shunned and shamed ourselves for being too much or perhaps not enough. For wishing we would've handled things better or differently. It is often the parts that have made other's uncomfortable, and instead of realizing that it was THEIR discomfort and placing proper accountability, we internalized it, burying the blame and disappointment deep within.
The dark feminine has been forced underground ever since Lilith told Adam and God that she would rather go to hell than sever parts of herself to be deemed acceptable by them. And when Eve was blamed for plucking the apple from the tree, did she force Adam a bite? NO! He exercised his own free will and somehow women have been left carrying the blame for thousands of years. This is where the splitting and devaluing of the feminine occurred.
The dark feminine is a powerful ally that assists us to unearth the disassociated parts of ourselves and reintegrate them into our being in healthy and balanced ways. For me the dark feminine is showing me the necessity of implementing and communicating fierce boundaries. She is the warrior and she is unwilling to back down. The dark feminine is not someone to be messed with. She is anything but demure or obedient.
Recently, I came under attack by a woman. It hit me like a spear through my left side when I was just sitting and chatting with my sister. My back seized and I was unable to move my neck to even look over my shoulder. All members of my immediate family were affected also. Following this incident I have been plagued by a run of misfortunes all because someone is projecting their scarcity mentality onto me and attempting to bend my will to increase their reach and profitability. To say I am angry is a gross understatement, messing with me is one thing but targeting innocents such as my children, HELL NO.
In the realm of business where people offer spiritual services, I have found there is a huge amount of ego involved. It is very important as spiritual practitioners that we maintain clear boundaries so that we don't infringe or manipulate other's sovereignty. This is something I feel exceptionally passionate about, so much so that it is the very backbone of my values and mission. I have no desire to train others to carry out my legacy. I have seen such a blatant misuse of power in this area.
To be clear, I have such reverence and deep gratitude to every single person that invests in me through my products and services. And also for my beloved mentors, friends, family, and familiars that provide unwavering guidance and support. I am also honored when people recognize the need to take a step back and discern what feels right for them. We owe ourselves our own loyalties. When something is out of integrity for me, I am unable to support it, whether that is personally or otherwise. If my work fits for you, whether that be a day, a week, a season, or a lifetime I hope you know I love you and am grateful for all of it. There is more than enough for each and every one of us. When we interact with others, diligence is required so that healthy relationships continue to thrive. Co-dependency is no longer an option. Taking space to breathe and integrate is such an important practice.
I have witnessed and experienced the spiritual bypassing, manipulation, victim blaming, and fear based karmic cycles being sold to people, including myself. This is unacceptable. With the structures of many religions experiencing a shift, I see the spiritual community often building similar platforms based on fear, victimization, and taking advantage of people who are seeking guidance. Continued oppression, looting of the feminine, and gas lighting the whole way, YUCK! Profiting off of the backs of other's is not an option. I've learned if something feels off, it probably is. We can remove the blinders and stare at our own shadows without dying, without needing a guru. We can reclaim and call back our power. It starts by drawing that line in the sand and holding firm.
I continue to reflect and contemplate; where is the individual sovereignty, what does it look like? Where is the devotion to our own heart, path, and journey? How do we be our own allies? It starts with recognizing that we are ALL equal and that we all have authority over OURSELVES. If someone seeks out assistance, we are meeting eye to eye on an equal playing field and mutually agreeing to collaboration. The purpose of healing should be to facilitate the co-creation of sacred space for the betterment of ALL, until the collaboration is no longer mutually beneficial. There needs to be an out for either party when things are not feeling aligned; free from guilt, resentment, obligation, fear, or manipulation.
As I move forward and really look at the cycles that play out in my life, I am recognizing how the feminine wounding that continues to follow me is deeply rooted in attempts to control me, steal my feminine gifts, and an unwillingness to release even when I have said NO. I have learned a great lesson in all of this, I call back my power fully into the depths of my belly and bravely go forward, uninhibited with fierce boundaries in place. I will no longer give others the benefit of the doubt when they shit in my sacred space. I can see how my grace was mistaken for accommodation. I am not to be manipulated, used, or abused.
So throw your psychic spears at me, but know that I am not to be fucked with. The web of women that hold the sacredness and vision of the new paradigm, we have already locked arms. We breathe integrity, honor, devotion, and courage without selling ourselves or other's out. And if you think we are going away, we aren't going anywhere. So while your spears might seem to slow us down initially, we will not be taken. The dark feminine is here, backing us up. With her we witness the dismantling of what once was, and TOGETHER WE RISE.
I say to the person who attacked me, the looting ends NOW. You are banished, you are not welcome. My sword is at the ready, you violated sacred trust, abused your position of power. You are never to return. And if you ever mess with my family again there will be a heavy price to pay.